So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
