i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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