This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
last night I used snow as a chaser
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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