And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
