i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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