If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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