we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
tell me about the eggs
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
