shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
