I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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