She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
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I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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