Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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