We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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