It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
