Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
