Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
