i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This is the high leading the old right now
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
