Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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