Me. At least after what I've been through.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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