i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
