i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
