I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
