I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
