Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
