Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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