Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
