FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
