i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
