She is in my trunk
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
