So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
