i permit you to call me
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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