You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
