Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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