Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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