Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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