You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize