so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
