I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
