if i can run in heels then i can drive
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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