He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
