i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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