So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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