just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
