your parents love me but you hate me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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