PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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