umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
