So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize