after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
