Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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