So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it glows. i had to have it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
