escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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