around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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