The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
