let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
