Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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