dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
