dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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