I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
