So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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