Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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