I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
